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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28803114">Take me over the edge, make me lose control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalejandra/pseuds/lalejandra'>lalejandra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bandom, Panic! at the Disco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BDSM, M/M, Post split, Under-negotiated Kink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2011-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2011-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:48:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,526</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28803114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalejandra/pseuds/lalejandra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer wants to choke on Brendon's cock.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Smith/Brendon Urie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take me over the edge, make me lose control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[[Blanket permission for all transformative works. I would love to hear about it if you make a transformative work using this as source. If you want to get in touch with me for that or any other reason, please feel free: lalejandra@aleuromancy.net]]</p>
<p>Title: Take me over the edge, make me lose control<br/>
by lalejandra<br/>
<br/>
Summary:</p>
<p>Spencer wants to choke on Brendon's cock.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
Notes:</p>
<p>Ugh, I had the worst fucking meeting this morning, so I turned to twitter. Hermette was having a bad day too! So I told her (and, uh, the rest of twitter!) this story. I felt better afterward! Like magic!</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
Published at: 2011-09-07<br/>
Revised at: 2011-09-06 23:25:57 -0400<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>They're at the point of the tour where it's more fun than painful to talk about the stuff they miss. Toward the end, when they never want to see each other's faces and stay as much out of each other's way as they possibly can on a tiny tour bus, that's when it starts to hurt to talk about what they give up when they're out on tour. (Brendon had thought that maybe with Jon and Ryan gone, that wouldn't end up happening. But no... no, it still happens.) So when a reporter flakes out on a phone interview, Dallon closes himself in his bunk with his laptop, Ian grabs Zack make a Target run and stock up on clean underwear, and Brendon and Spencer get stoned and play "I Miss" while they're waiting for sound check.</p>
<p>"I miss..." Brendon trails off. "My dogs."</p>
<p>"I miss blowjobs," sighs Spencer.</p>
<p>Brendon rolls his eyes. "That's not how the game is played, man. Besides, just go... pick someone. There's a crowd thirty deep outside the bus <em>right now</em>, and any of them would suck your dick. What, you miss getting L.A. chicks to suck you off? Lame."</p>
<p>Spencer looks over with his eyebrows raised. "First of all, no. I think we both know I'm about as likely as Dallon to wade into that crowd and take my pants off."</p>
<p>"You wouldn't have to take them <em>off</em>," mutters Brendon under his breath.</p>
<p>"Plus," continues Spencer, "I mean <em> giving</em> blowjobs, idiot."</p>
<p>"You've never given a blowjob in your life," says Brendon. He studies the bus ceiling. The a/c vent is almost totally closed up with dust. That cannot possibly be good for his throat. Yet… he doesn't want to be the dude standing on the back lounge couch to clean it. Spencer is laughing. Brendon looks over at him.  "What?"</p>
<p>"You are fucking clueless. I owe Shane, like, fifty bucks." Spencer swipes his phone off the table and starts typing furiously.</p>
<p>"Shane?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess you missed how he and I spent the last, like, two years hooking up before he and Regan decided to try monogamy." Spencer rolls his eyes and Brendon is kind of struck by how casual he sounds, like, like, of course he likes giving blowjobs, who doesn't? Which is a weird way to, like, come out to your best friend. He just goes back to typing. "I thought you knew, he was convinced you didn't --"</p>
<p>"Wait, so all those times you got together so he could film you drumming?!"</p>
<p>Spencer flips his hair out of his eyes. "Well, we did that. And then we'd fuck, and I miss giving blowjobs, okay?" There's an edge to his tone, like maybe he thinks Brendon would think it's <em>not</em> okay. But whatever, all right, Brendon has sucked a dick or two in his time, he's not ashamed to admit it. Dick can be great. But he doesn't <em>miss it</em> when it's not there. And it's not like he didn't know Spencer got down sometimes, but he never <em>thought</em> about what Spencer did in bed.</p>
<p>Fuck, Spencer and Shane. Wow.</p>
<p>"Well, whatever," he replies, "I like getting my dick sucked, so if you're ever desperate, bro, I'm here for you." Then he realizes… maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. Because now all he can think of is Spencer's shiny hair sliding through his fingers, and Spencer on his knees, and Spencer's big hands all over Brendon's dick, and -- fuck. Fuck.</p>
<p>"Whatever to you," Spencer says. He tosses his phone back onto the table. "You're, like, the most vanilla of all vanillas --"</p>
<p>"What? I am not! I like -- I like kinky stuff. Like getting scratched or whatever. Man, Sarah used to strap it on and fuck me, that's pretty kinky." Brendon feels defensive now -- and this is weird, kind of, because he and Spencer don't usually talk about their sex lives like this, they don't usually… like, go into detail.</p>
<p>"Dude, even your kink is vanilla," Spencer tells him. He stretches on the couch, and Brendon can't take his eyes off where Spencer's shirt rides up and shows a trail of dark hair. Spencer never shaves it all off like Brendon does, and he only waxed once on a bet (that Spencer won <em>of course</em>). Brendon makes an involuntary noise, and Spencer must take it as encouragement, because he <em>keeps going</em>. "You'd freak the fuck out if someone asked you to fuck their face, or hold them down, or --"</p>
<p>"Hey," Brendon objects. "I have totally held Sarah down!"</p>
<p>Spencer just laughs at him, and Brendon can't think of anything else to say, because Spencer is <em>right</em>, Brendon <em>is</em> kind of vanilla, only he's never thought of himself like that before. He's always kind of thought of himself as, like, up for anything. Except clearly Spencer isn't only up for anything, fantasizing about weird shit and shivering when he, like, gets hit with a stun gun for fun -- he fucking <em>does it</em>. In bed. With other people. People like <em>Shane</em>.</p>
<p>"Let's smoke another one," says Brendon, trying as hard as he can to be as smooth and casual as Spencer. And maybe it works, because Spencer just leans forward with the lighter, and then they watch <em>Best in Show</em> and talk about their dogs instead of blowjobs.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Brendon cannot stop thinking about the kinky shit Spence might be into. Like… he doesn't even know. He pictures Spencer in all kinds of scenarios, putting Spencer's face over porn stars, and he has pretty much given up jerking off to anything else. Spencer pissing on Brendon, Spencer fucking Brendon's face, Spencer opening Brendon up with his tongue, Spencer digging his fingers into Brendon's skin, leaving bruises -- but Spencer had said that he missed <em>giving</em> blowjobs. Spencer on his knees for Brendon, licking Brendon's balls. What if Spencer liked to get fucked? Brendon could scratch up his back, leave bite marks on his chest, lick his hole until he cried --</p>
<p>And, fuck, okay, yeah, Spencer was right, even Brendon's idea of kinky is kind of… vanilla. It would suck to be too boring for Spencer in bed, but Brendon can't even get past the idea of Spencer on his knees, looking up at Brendon from under his hair -- he can't stop jerking off to that image long enough to go anywhere else with it.</p>
<p>It gets Brendon hard at really fucking inconvenient times, too, like when he grins at a joke, when he tosses his hair at a reporter, during sound check when he's whaling on the drums. Brendon wonders how fucked up it would be to just grab Spencer one day -- grab him by the hair. Grab him and push him down to his knees backstage, or on the bus when it's empty, or in a hotel room when it's just the two of them.</p>
<p>He could growl, "Suck my fucking cock," and Spencer <em>would</em>, he would just open his mouth and let Brendon shove in, maybe put his hands behind his back so his shoulders strain and his collarbone stands out, tilt his chin up. Maybe he'd look hungry, like he couldn't wait, like anything Brendon could give him wouldn't be enough, would never be enough.</p>
<p>Like he'd want Brendon all the time.</p>
<p>And Brendon would run his cock all over Spencer's mouth, so pink under his beard, and shove inside, push into his throat and hold it there, make Spencer choke and gag, and it would feel so fucking good -- not just because Brendon fucking loves getting blowjobs, but because it would be <em>Spencer</em>. It would be Spencer's mouth, Spencer's hair in his fingers, Spencer's shoulders under his hands, Spencer's neck pressing backward, Spencer's eyes never leaving his, even though they'd be streaming with tears from choking.</p>
<p>Brendon <em>cannot</em> stop staring at Spencer and thinking about this shit, can't stop jerking off to it every night. Brendon isn't made of stone, and Spencer would look fucking gorgeous with his face covered in Brendon's come, Brendon's marks all over his body.</p>
<p>Sometimes Spencer catches him staring, and Brendon can feel his face flush -- but he never looks away, because… well, because this is Spencer's fucking fault, so he can deal with the consequences, okay? He started this, and he has to deal with Brendon staring now, staring and wondering and jerking off.</p>
<p>But Spencer doesn't look away <em>either</em>, even when he flushes a little under Brendon's stare. Even when Brendon licks his lips.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>The show is amazing, but the venue is hot as shit and there's no fucking fans pointed at the stage or anything, so Brendon's half naked before they're even halfway through the set, and once they're offstage, Brendon feels like he would seriously sell his mom for a place in front of one of the industrial fans that are backstage. He's covered in sweat, and even though he's been hydrating -- with water, okay, Zack? Not everything is about beer all the time, fuck -- he's still thirsty.</p>
<p>He detours to grab a bottle of water from a table and feels Spencer come up next to him, all radiant heat and brilliant smile. He's ready to turn and say something about what a great show it was when Spencer reaches out and grabs his sweat-slick skin, the skin right above his hip, and <em>twists</em>.</p>
<p>"Fuuuu-u-u-ck --" Brendon almost shouts, but instead it's a whisper, and he chokes on his mouthful of water, and fuck, fuck, he's gone from high on how great it is to be a band and play music to fucking hard in the space of, like, two seconds.</p>
<p>They're right by the closet Dallon had locked himself into to call Breezy earlier, so when Spencer smirks, Brendon grabs him by the arm and hustles him into it.</p>
<p>"Panic one-point-oh meeting," he snaps at Zack, who holds out his hands palms up and takes a step back.</p>
<p>Spencer's chuckling, but Brendon -- Brendon's worked the fuck up. He doesn't even push Spencer's vest off his shoulders, just grabs his white t-shirt and pulls it up, over Spencer's shoulders, over his face. Spencer… Spencer looks like he's <em>waiting</em>. Smirking.</p>
<p>Brendon throws Spencer's shirt on the floor -- and, yeah, okay, Spence is gonna kill him for that later, probably -- and plants a hand on the center of Spence's chest. He pushes, pushes, until Spencer's backed up into the only clear wall, and then he says, "I'm gonna fuck your throat now." Then he adds, "Okay?"</p>
<p>Spencer doesn't punch him or laugh at him or -- or anything. He just makes a noise in his chest that Brendon can feel through his palm, and he slides down the wall until he's on his knees in front of Brendon, pushes his face into Brendon's dick, pressing his stage pants into his cock. Which, fuck, is so goddamn hard, Brendon is going to shoot off in two seconds just like the first time anyone else touched his dick, because fuck. Fuck. <em>Spencer.</em></p>
<p>Brendon twists his fingers into Spencer's sweaty hair and <em>yanks</em>, pulling Spencer back.</p>
<p>"Not until I say," he says. "Bad."</p>
<p>Spencer looks up at him through his eyelashes, taunting, still smirking, and Brendon hears him: <em>Even your kink is vanilla.</em></p>
<p>Brendon slaps him, just slaps him, slaps him fucking hard, but Spencer's head can't move because Brendon's holding his hair, so he just has to <em>take it</em>. There's a breathless moment where Brendon thinks maybe he overstepped -- fuck, he's never done anything like this before -- but then Spencer moans, he moans, and his eyes flutter shut, and Brendon can't wait. He scrabbles at his pants, gets them down around his thighs, feels Spencer's hands help tug, and doesn't even let Spencer get him wet.</p>
<p>He says, "Open,"  with his thumb against the corner of Spencer's mouth, and Spencer's jaw <em>drops</em>.</p>
<p>Brendon shoves in, doesn't even use a hand to guide his dick, just lets it bounce around Spencer's mouth -- not even the accidental scrape of teeth can make this less hot.  He moves his hips, pushing into Spencer's mouth, all the way to his throat, and says, "Take it, fucking take it" -- and Spencer <em>does</em>.</p>
<p>He drools and moans and it's wet and messy, and there's no fan in the closet, so Brendon is sweating and knows he's fucking disgusting, but Spencer seems to fucking love it, and Spencer being turned on is turning Brendon on even <em>more</em>. Spencer's got his hands wrapped around Brendon's thighs and won't let Brendon pull back all the way -- Spencer gasps around Brendon's cock before Brendon shoves back in.</p>
<p>Brendon says, panting, "Hands behind your back." But Spencer doesn't do it, just digs his fingers into Brendon's thighs, nails pushing against skin, so Brendon pulls on his hair, pulls him off hard, jerking his hips back at the same time -- and, oh, that is torture, to take his dick out of Spencer's mouth when it clearly belongs there <em>forever</em>.</p>
<p>He hesitates for a moment, Spencer gasping and pulling his own hair trying to get back to Brendon's cock. He's got to, though, he has to -- he slaps Spencer's face again as hard as he can, feeling the way Spencer's head tries to jerk to the side and gets caught by Brendon's fist in his hair.</p>
<p>"I said hands behind your fucking back if you want my cock. Maybe you don't want it bad enough, huh? Maybe you just don't love sucking dick enough, Spencer," taunts Brendon, and Spencer actually <em>whines</em>.</p>
<p>He puts his hands behind his back -- Brendon doesn't know what he does, but it makes his shoulders sink and his chest get broader, and, oh, yeah, fuck, his collarbones, his neck, his skin is shiny in the dim light, covered in sweat -- fuck.</p>
<p>Then he starts to beg. "Please, Brendon, fuck, please, give it to me, I want your cock in my mouth --" His voice is rough and husky, and it sounds just, just like Spencer, exactly like Brendon's best fucking friend in the world, but also totally different, almost like this is something they <em>do</em>, lock themselves in closets and have kinky sex, like it's <em>normal</em> for them. Brendon's heart twists a little in his chest, and he ruthlessly pushes the feeling aside, because -- well, because this is about Spencer fucking begging for his dick, and how is Brendon supposed to resist that?</p>
<p>"Please," Spencer's saying over and over again. "Please, Brendon, please, please, I want to suck your dick, give it to me, please --"</p>
<p>Brendon twists his hand into Spencer's hair even harder, and uses the other hand first to feed Spencer his dick. "Good," he croons, "good boy, take it, suck my dick." Then he can't stop touching Spencer's face -- his eyes leaking tears as Brendon cuts off his air; his cheekbones; the freckles on his nose that Brendon knows are there, even though he can't see them in the dim light; Spencer's close-cropped beard; the curve of Spencer's ear.</p>
<p>Brendon trails his fingers down to Spencer's mouth, where it's stretched so so so wide around Brendon's dick, where his lips curve, the corners where his skin is going to crack from being used.</p>
<p>Then Brendon touches Spencer's throat, feelings the way his throat moves when he swallows around Brendon's cock, how it vibrates with his moans when Brendon pulls back a little to let him breathe -- and his hands are behind his back, so he's arching backward, tilting his head back, and he goes off balance with every thrust, but doesn't try to catch himself. He knows, he must know Brendon won't let him fall -- and just to make sure he knows, Brendon tightens his fist in spencer's hair, holding him up --</p>
<p>Fuck, he isn't going to last, and it's fucking embarrassing, because he wants to fuck Spencer's mouth <em>forever</em>, it is literally all he wants to do for the rest of time. Fuck being a rock star and singing on stage and everything else in the world -- just give him Spencer. Give him Spencer on his knees -- <em>Spencer on his knees!!!!</em> his brain helpfully shouts -- and he will seriously be happy forever.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>He moans and comes, and Spencer pushes forward, trying to take more, making Brendon pull his hair harder, and Brendon comes right down Spencer's throat.</p>
<p>Brendon's knees buckle and he just comes and comes, unsteady and shaking.</p>
<p>He isn't tall enough to lean over Spencer's head and lean against the wall, so he lets go of Spencer's hair -- his fingers are cramped -- and he sits down slowly. His dick is super sensitive, and he doesn't -- he can't -- it's --</p>
<p>Spencer, the thing is, Spencer is sweaty and covered in spit and a little bit of come and there are tear tracks on his face, and he's breathing so heavy, his chest rising and falling like he's run a hundred miles or is panicking. He's so fucking hard, even in the low light Brendon can see his dick, the hard outline pushing against his stage pants, the wet spot on them, slightly darker than the rest of the fabric, the way his chest curves -- because his hands, his hands, they're still behind his back and his head is still tilted and his mouth is still open.</p>
<p>And Brendon honest to fucking god whimpers, because this is basically the hottest thing that has ever happened to him, and Spencer is totally right, he is really fucking vanilla. How did he never even think of this? How did his brain not come up with this before now?</p>
<p>He carefully tucks his dick back into his pants and moves over to crouch next to Spencer. "Hey, Spence," he says softly, and rubs a little at the corner of Spencer's mouth -- and then he thinks, Fuck it, and leans forward and kisses him, kisses the come off his lips.</p>
<p>And Spencer, Spencer kisses him back.</p>
<p>Spencer kisses him back and moans, and his voice is fucking wrecked, and it's the hottest thing Brendon's ever heard. He keeps a hand on Spencer's throat and kisses him while the other hand snakes into Spencer's pants, carefully unbuttoning and moving them out of the way. But when he hits Spence'rs dick, Spencer wrests his head away, turns out of the kiss, and gasps, "No --"</p>
<p>Brendon stumbles back so fast he falls on his ass, hands skidding across concrete floor. This -- this was consensual, he knows it was, he knows Spencer wanted it, that it wasn't just him, but -- fuck, what if --</p>
<p>"Dude, I can," Spencer says, and his voice breaks. He clears his throat and starts again. "I hear you thinking, dude. I'm sorry, calm down, I only meant -- just not yet, okay? Not right now. I want --"</p>
<p>Brendon is fucking relieved, but he still can't really <em>move</em>. Like the relief is literally paralyzing him where he sits. Because -- because he loves Spencer a fucking lot, blowjobs aside, and he would never want to -- want -- he just. Would never want to, like, whatever. Not ever. Nonconsensual snuggling? Maybe. Nonconsensual face licking? Definitely, especially if tacos are involved. But nonconsensual sexy times? Not fucking ever.</p>
<p>Never.</p>
<p>Brendon is kind of wrapped up in his thoughts, so he almost doesn't notice Spencer <em>blushing</em> -- except he catches it when Spencer dips his head and looks up from under his eyelashes. Brendon knows that move, knows it really well. That is grade A I-learned-this-from-Ryan-Ross-when-we-were-teenagers flirting --</p>
<p>Or maybe, Brendon thinks wildly, Ryan learned it from <em>Spencer</em>. He gets a sudden flash of tiny seventeen year old Spencer in his tight jeans and pink t-shirts, hip shot and bitchfacing, sucking someone's dick. Sucking <em>Brendon</em>'s dick.</p>
<p>Oh shit.</p>
<p>"What do you want?" Brendon growls out. He doesn't <em>mean</em> to growl, but the thought of teenage Spencer sucking off teenage Brendon… And Spencer's blush <em>does things to him</em>, things he never -- this is all manner of new experiences for him here.</p>
<p>Spencer takes a deep breath and says, "I want to wait. Make me wait."</p>
<p>
  <em>Make me.</em>
</p>
<p>Brendon looks at Spencer, at his blush, at his face, at <em>him</em>, and he can move again. He crawls a little, moves over to Spencer, lets their gross, sweaty bodies press together, feels the slick of skin on skin, and slides his hand into Spencer's hair, pets the nape of his neck. He moves his fingers, pets Spencer's ear, his forehead, presses a tiny, closed-mouth kiss to Spencer's lips.</p>
<p>Then he twists his hand back into Spencer's hair, rough, tight, as cruel as he can, and leans back a little to slap him as hard as he fucking can. He loves that jerk, the way Spencer's head can't move because Brendon is holding him still.</p>
<p>"You'd better wait," he says. "You'd fucking better. Don't you dare come until I say it's okay. Don't even fucking touch yourself, Spencer."</p>
<p>Spencer takes in a shuddering breath. "What if I do?" he demands. "What'll you do about it, huh?"</p>
<p>Brendon' s palm hurts, and Spencer's face is a bright, hot red, red red red where Brendon's been hitting him, so instead he grabs Spencer's throat, pushes his fingers and thumb under his chin, the sensitive bits that make it hard to speak and swallow. He puts his mouth right up against Spencer's, feels Spencer's beard scraping his skin.</p>
<p>He says, "I'll fucking punish you," and then he bites Spencer's mouth, bites hard, scrapes his teeth over where Spencer's lips are raw at the corners. "Do what I say," he says into Spencer's mouth.</p>
<p>Spencer kisses him back, pushes <em>into</em> his fingers, makes his grip even <em>tighter</em>, gasps for air, and Brendon loves it, loves it, wants to know -- wants to know everything, wants to know what Spencer likes, and what his limits are, wants to know if Spencer would maybe let Brendon <em>push</em>. Brendon is so good at pushing, nudging at people, and he wants to, wants to push Spencer's limits, make him cry and shake.</p>
<p>Brendon has <em>never</em> wanted like this before; sex has always just been fun and simple, mutual getting off, pleasant feelings, enjoyable time spent. It's never been… Brendon's never cared before about breaking someone down and crawling inside them to take everything they are -- but he wants that with Spencer, and he wants it right now, in this dirty, hot, stuffy room.</p>
<p>And it is scaring the shit out of him.</p>
<p>He lets go and backs again, scrambles away, pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes. Fuck fuck fuck, Spencer is going to think he is the worst, but he can't --</p>
<p>"Hey, hey. Hey. Bren." Spencer's voice is so shattered, hoarse and raw, and it scrapes over all of Brendon's nerves, making him shiver. "Brendon, it's okay, hold up, we're okay." He reaches out and touches Brendon's ankle, and Brendon throws himself into Spencer's arms, and they are gonna be so fucking dirty from this disgusting floor, but Brendon doesn't care, he'll do the laundry himself, he's just <em>freaking out</em> for some reason, he doesn't even <em>know why.</em></p>
<p>He tucks his face into Spencer's neck. "Sorry," he mumbles, "sorry, I just --"</p>
<p>"No, seriously," Spencer says, "this is a lot, we should have -- we should have talked about it or something, this isn't... how I usually do things, dude."</p>
<p>Brendon doesn't lift up his head -- Spencer smells like sweat, like the spicy deodorant he started using last year, and it's really comforting. Brendon takes deep breaths, pulling Spencer's smell into himself. He says, head still tucked into Spencer's neck, "Why? Why do it like this, then?"</p>
<p>Spencer shifts -- Brendon is careful not to grind against his dick, because, yeah, that is <em>Spencer's dick</em> and he <em>wants</em> to grind against it -- and finally Spencer says, "I don't know, I guess I just... thought maybe it was my only shot with you, so I had to take it, you know?"</p>
<p>"Fuck, you are an idiot," says Brendon, and he lifts his head up. Spencer looks all worried and kind of sad and that is <em>not okay</em> -- Brendon wants him to stop looking like that way more than he wants to play it cool. Spencer knows he's not cool anyway. "You have <em>every</em> shot with me," Brendon tells him. "Every one. Every shot anyone has ever had, they are all yours now, okay?"</p>
<p>"Fuck," says Spencer, and he doesn't look happier.</p>
<p>Brendon's heart sinks a little. "Did you just want this to be -- I mean, we, we can. Like, it's okay, dude, I didn't mean we had to, like, be in love, or -- I just. Was thinking about you, I couldn't -- fuck."</p>
<p>He hides his face again and wants to cry, but just swallows hard instead. Spencer's body is burning hot against his, and Spencer's hands are firm on his back, one moving up and holding his neck, moving his head -- Spencer is so fucking strong, so much bigger than Brendon, but he let Brendon push him around. Wanted Brendon to push him around. Just thinking about it makes Brendon's dick twitch, even though Spencer probably doesn't even <em>want him</em>, just --</p>
<p>"You're stupid," says Spencer into his ear, and then they're kissing again. "I think about you, too. I've <em>been</em> thinking about you, and this was awesome, but I don't want you to feel like you <em>owe</em> me anything, okay? You don't <em>have</em> to keep -- I mean, I know it's not really your thing, and that's okay, you know?</p>
<p>"Ugh, shut up," says Brendon, "fuck, I want to do this with you all the time, okay?" He leans in for another kiss, but there's a banging on the door, and they move like they're going to try to jump apart -- like someone's gonna open it and somehow <em>not</em> think that they were doing exactly what they were doing. Brendon stays in Spencer's lap, though, an arm curled around his neck.</p>
<p>"Kiss and make the fuck up, little dudes," booms Zack, still on the other side of the door. "We're rolling in twenty whether you are fighting or not!"</p>
<p>Brendon can't help it, he totally giggles, when he shakes against Spencer, he grinds against Spencer's dick.</p>
<p>Spencer gasps, and Brendon pulls away, just a little, keeping pressure on Spencer's dick, and says, "Seriously, do not fucking come until I say you can." Then he twists his fingers into Spencer's hair and <em>pulls</em>, and Spencer shudders against him, and it's basically the most amazing fucking thing he's ever felt or seen.</p>
<p>He's going to do it for fucking ever, that's for sure.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Then more porn! And a lot of ~feelings! The end! \o/</p>
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